1.
Hi Liz,
My plan is for us to meet again.
That’s it.
For me to get you to accept this proposition, I understand that at every turn, this needs to be as easy and as obligation-free as possible for both of us. For you, the obvious reasons: any threat of obligation or difficulty makes it more difficult for you to accept. For me, any difficulty incurred on my end could be an obligation felt on yours. I’m not saying it will be difficulty free, but I’ll do my best to mitigate.
So how do we meet easily and with no obligations if you’re in Vancouver and I’m in Fredericton? Easy.
I suggest we meet at 2:00 in the afternoon on November 16th in Vancouver. At this time and date I’ll already be in the city on a brief weekend stopover before I’m on my way to meet my brother, his wife, and my nephews who live in Victoria.
The next thing to answer is: Do we even enjoy each other’s company?
To attempt to answer this, I suggest we go on something longer than just a typical first date but, of course, with no expectations or obligations. Since we are what I’d call “friend-quaintances,” I think a longer than first date is warranted, and first dates never seem to answer the aforementioned question anyway. For this “friend-quaintance” date, I’d say we meet at a cafe, chat, and then go on a a walk. The seawall if it’s not raining and either the art gallery or aquarium if it is. (Chowing down on hot dogs at a baseball game would have been perfect, but it won’t be the season for that.) After the walk, you’ll allow me to buy you an early dinner, after which I will retire to my hotel room and you will do whatever you damn well please.
Pretty simple plan, don’t you think?
2.
If it turns out we actually do enjoy each other’s company, then my heart will have proven my brain to be the more intelligent of the two organs on this matter, and that does not bode well for my brain in future decisions concerning you. And this is the funny thing: with you, it’s a constant battle between my brain and my heart. My brain reads our conversations and is like, “She’s just not interested; it’s right there. Just read it.” My heart reads the same lines and is like, “No! There’s a subtext if you put together the clues to her personality through the Instagram stories”
BRAIN: “She’s just living her life in Vancouver. And you’re just some guy who periodically pops his head into feed. LEAVE HER ALONE.”
HEART: “But what if I’m right?”
BRAIN: “But what if You’re wrong?”
HEART: “But what if I’m right? AND IT WORKS.”
3.
4.
What happens to me with you reminds me of the title of a novel I once came up with in my twenties that I planned on writing when I was older and wiser. It was to be called: Schizophrenics Make Good Dance Partners. I won’t bore you with the details of what it was planned to be about. A title like that won’t ever see the light of day these days, and I don’t write much anymore, so maybe I’ve been saving it to put in this letter as an invitation for you.
Dance with me.
The other thing with this whole “brain vs heart matter” is I’m choosing to lead with the heart because, in lieu of any concrete evidence, I think there might be a chance you’d be up for this nutzo idea. Any simple no, not interested, or non-reply, and my brain will take back over, and I’ll wish you the best and the hope that we both someday find our match.
Regardless of what you want to do or what we end up doing, it was fun trying to think of how to write this to you this week. I enjoyed it. But could you imagine how magical and powerful these words would be if, on a rainy Vancouver November, they conjured you in front of me?
— R
PS I’ve timed the release of this email to coincide perfectly with a two-to-three-day sailing trip where I’ll be out of range of cellphone reception. That way, my brain and heart can continue to have a tickle fight in the Schrodinger’s box of the pit of my stomach.